sobre o tempo

SOBRE O TEMPO

 

Bebês e crianças,

São brilho e pureza se manisfestando na Terra.

Eles vêm em completa confiaça,

Vêm da Confiança, do Amor, da Fonte de Luz que nunca se acaba.

 

Que mãos as tocarão ao chegarem aqui?

Que palavras ouvirão ao chegarem aqui?

Que olhos lhes enxergarão ao chegaram aqui?

 

Quanto mais ligados à nossa essência, nós como adultos,

Quanto mais ligados aos nosss corpos – sim, pois temos vários,

Quanto mais acordados para cada ato, para cada palavra, cada gesto,

Quanto mais conscientes de onde nascem nossas ações – do medo, da inseguraça ou do amor e da união?

Quanto mais respeito temos ao brilho único e individual que cada criança traz consigo – na forma mais diversa de se expressar,

Mais forte esse brilho poderá se manifestar.

 

E aí vem a pergunta: do que uma criança realmente precisa?

Parto assim ou assado? Carregada sempre por sling ou em carrinhos modernos e caros?

Com mamadeira ou do peito? Chupeta ou dedo?

Quarto separado ou na cama com os pais? Fralda de pano ou daquelas levam 500 anos para se decompor? (pequena pausa para imaginar se os filhos de Pedro Álvares Cabral tivessem usado Pampers, estariamos sentido o cheiro delas ainda hoje…)

Eu acredito que nada disso é central – mas também MUITO importante!

O central, ou aquilo que uma criança realmente precisa –e que vai responder muitas das perguntas acima –

É de TEMPO.

 

Tempo de um adulto, mãe ou não,

Mas que essa pessoa esteja em completa PRESENҪA,

Numa doação completa durante o tempo que estiverem juntos,

Em amor e respeito por esse ser.

Pois a presença é a porta para a dedicação verdadeira

Para a calma, sem expectativas e objetivos,

E para as surpresas.

É a porta de entrada para uma linda experiência de conhecer um ser na sua forma mais pura.

 

Se estou com meu bebê – fisicamente –

Mas minha cabeça, preocupação, atenção e desejo estão direcionados a outros coisas,

Então é claro que não estou realmente com ele.

É estar ali com todos os corpos, não só o físico, mas o mental, o sensorial, o astral também…

Eu me dedico com amor à essa criança nesse momento.

Depois é depois, até porque só existe o agora e o aqui, não é mesmo?

É não querer nada além daquilo que se manifesta naquela situação, seja um sorriso, um choro, um soninho, um colo…

Imagine você estando com a pessoa que você mais ama, ou com aquela que representa o seu guia naquele momento,

E sente que essa pessoa não está nem um pouco interessado em você,

Que na verdade gostaria de estar com outras pessoas – e não com você,

De estar em outro lugar – e não ali com você,

De fazer outra coisa – e não de cuidar de você.

Pois tudo isso a criança pequena sente e percebe.

Não falo isso para gerar culpa, mas para termos consciência da dimensão da nossa importância para nossos filhos.

É desafiador, É E MUITO, sempre! Mas c´est la vie, ninguém disse que seria fácil!

Mas é também tão MARAVILHOSO, lindo e apaixonante…

 

Mundando nosso olhar e maneira de interagirmos com uma criança,

dando um basta neste programa já bem proliferado (principalmente) entre nós, mães,

de que cuidar de um bebê ou criança cansa, que exige muito de nós,

que ficamos com dores nas costas – sim, eu tive muitas delas, mas já consegui me libertar!

que não temos tempo para mais nada e assim por diante,

dando um basta nisso tudo e nos abrindo para uma outra relação,

uma relação de doação, de serviço à essa criança,

baseada no amor, na guiança,

na linda missão que temos em guiar esse ser que acabou de chegar na Terra,

e onde nos sentimos fortes e confiantes nessa tarefa que exercemos.

Sim, pois somos adultos e já estamos há algumas décadas nessa vida – a criança acabou de chegar e precisa sentir essa segurança em nós.

Não tiramos dela sua autonomia e poder de decisão, mas estamos conscientes da nossa tarefa como guias na matéria – porém sem apego ilusório à criança.

 

Mas tem outro tempo que a criança necessita também.

É sentir que possui todo tempo do mundo para aprender a andar, a falar, a deixar das fraldas, a somar 1+1, a começar a gostar de brócolis,

Ela sente que pode fazer tudo da sua forma, maneira e ritmo. Sente-se ouvida, percebida e reconhecida pelo adulto – sim, é disso que precisam!, precisam ser reconhecidas por nós.

Trinta crianças numa mesma sala de aula não podem manifestar um mesmo pensamento, o mesmo aprendizado no mesmo momento.

E se o fazem, devemos nos perguntar: isso acontece de maneira natural? Provavelmente não.

O saber e o descobrir naturais não se manifestam de forma planificada e

O relógio de muitas escolas andam no ritmo da correria da vida adulta, onde muitos professores parecem trabalhar mais com metas, apostilas, planos de aula, provas e competição do que com crianças, que vivem segundo a colaboração e união.

O relégio da criança anda em outro ritmo. No ritmo da brisa, dos pássaros, das flores se abrindo…

O tempo que para nós adulto parece ser certo, ser aceitável, muitas vezes não parte da perspectiva dos baixinhos.

Um expemplo banal, mas muito corriqueiro, é o andar de um adulto e o andar de uma criança. Eles não andam no mesmo ritmo, têm passo de tamanhos diferentes, habilidades no andar diferentes e percepçoes completamente diferentes do lugar por onde andam.

E como o adulto abusa da sua posição de como guia, confundindo o guiar com puxar, surgem impaciências expressas assim: “anda menino, anda mais rápido. Mas que lerdo. Deixa isso ai, vamos que estou com pressa”.

O terapeuta familiar holandês, Jasper Juul, costuma dizer que a educação antigamente era guiada pela frase: “Comporte-se menino!”

Hoje a palavra de ordem é outra: “Anda logo menino!”.

Nossos cabelos brancos não são tanto pelo mal comportamento das crianças, mas pela nossa falta de tempo,

Falta de tempo para nós, quem dera para uma EDUCação (prefiro RELação) com crianças sem pressa, mas com presença.

 

Minha filha, por exemplo, tinha deixado das fraldas lá por junho, julho quando estávamos no Brasil.

Viemos pra Alemanha, a coisa mudou. Não queria mais visitar o senhor vaso, nem tirar a calça já molhada de xixi. Parou, bloqueou!

O que fizemos? Voltamos para as fraldas. Aceitei completamente a fase dela, percebi a linguagem dela – muito clara – que nesse novo ambiente ela à princípio não se sentia confortável.

Precisava e exigia de mim muita atenção, colo e segurança.

E essa segurança ela sentiu em nós ao saber que não havia nenhuma expectativa da nossa parte de que agora ela devia continuar usando o banheiro, ou que fazer xixi na calça estava errado, ou de que não poderia “voltar” ao estágio anterior.

Mas o desenvolvimento humano, e principalmente o infantil, nao é uma linha reta, uma seta.

É sim um linha que segue em frente, faz voltas, depois segue mais um pouco em frente, depois volta de novo…

E hoje, depois de 2 meses voltando a ter usado a máquina de lavar roupa à todo vapor com as fraldas, comemoramos felizes que só usamos 2 fraldas por dia: uma para o soninho da tarde, outra pra de noite.

Mas dei esse tempo à ela, não lhe exigi nada.

É desafiado, é!

Mas nisso a gente cresce tanto!

Igual as criancas, que crescem tão rápido!

Ah, esse senhor tempo…

 

„Uma das grandes desvantagens de termos pressa é o tempo que nos faz perder.“
( G. K. Chesterton )

Barbara Zimmermann

290 Gedanken zu „sobre o tempo

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